The Viking gods are back. Powerful gods and goddesses are waiting to hear your prayers. Valkyries are ready to deliver your corpse to the proper destination. For the heroes, heavenly accommodations await in Valhalla. For the degenerates, there is not one, but two versions of hell. But before you start asking the Viking gods to heal your ailments and tip sporting events in your favor, remember this:
Viking gods like shiny things, so be prepared to pony up some treasure.
Strange how everyone seems to be inventing their own religion nowadays, picking and choosing from ancient books and myths like shoppers at the market. Loki figures, as long as you’re going to believe in wacky stuff, why not just go with the Viking gods? Armored badasses with magical weapons are waiting to hear your prayers.
Loki explains his daily chores as Mischief God to Baldur:
Mechanical disasters are a great way to start the day.
Next come political scandals and fomenting social unrest.
Afternoons are spend undercover, seeding doubts and spreading rumors.
A portion of each day is also spend to the research and development of new techniques of creating chaos. Lately, Loki has become intrigued with the anarchic possibilities of large scale computer malfunctions.
Truly, creating mayhem is a full time job!
Loki and Baldur watch from the clouds as two planes nearly collide in the sky above Midgard. Next, on a steep mountain road, a yellow schoolbus loses its brakes and careens towards a truck of live chickens.
Looks like just another day at the office for the God of Trickery…
Lovely Sif is proving an extremely difficult conquest for Loki, the insidious (and apparently horny) god of mischief.
Loki abandons his idea to transform himself into a moose and ravish the most beautiful goddess in her bedchamber, preferring something more clever…
Seducing her with his comic book collection.
The insidious Loki continues his amorous advances on Sif, the most beautiful woman in the realm. Loki invites Sif to grab on to his mustache like the reigns of a horse and ride to Valhalla on his dragon prow. Sif has had enough, and calls out to her husband Thor…
Loki tries to convince Sif that Thor does a lot more on his trips to Giant Land than just slay giants… he rides those giant women all night long. There is no reason why a woman like Sif should be kept waiting. She is beautiful, charming, intelligent. If she just gave poor misunderstood Loki a chance, he could show her a better way.
Starting with a mustache ride.
Loki wonders if Sif has hair below to match her golden mane up top. She promptly reminds him that years ago he transformed himself into a mare and let a horse ravish him. Loki promises Sif that sex with him will never be boring…
Nail yourself a Nibelung!
Whack-a-Dwarf is the new hammer games sensation taking over Asgard.
Not to be mistaken with Whack-a-Mole.
Featuring live angry dwarves!
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