The time you travel a rainbow highway to a far corner of the universe, don’t thank Odin, thank a dwarf.
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Posts Tagged dwarves
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Freyja is jealous of the Christians. Every year at Christmas they give one another box after box filled with glorious treasures… new game consoles, snowmobiles, tiaras, and other treasures from the shopping malls of the earth. Meanwhile, up in Asgard, the gods exchange modest “yule gifts” — playing cards, warm clothes, candles, and other snoozables meant to provide comfort during the long winter. Which means if Freyja wants some new jewelry she has to get it the old fashioned way… by humping dwarves.
Nail yourself a Nibelung!
Whack-a-Dwarf is the new hammer games sensation taking over Asgard.
Not to be mistaken with Whack-a-Mole.
Featuring live angry dwarves!
Freyja never intended on getting ravaged by a bunch of filthy dwarves, but when she saw the wondrous patterns of the shimmering gold choker, she knew it had to be hers. The dwarves of the Eddas are not the cute, good-natured creatures you find whistling through the forest in Snow White. Instead, they are inherently evil, live in the ground, and explode in the sunlight. They are considered maggots who developed human understanding. On the plus side, dwarves are expert craftsman capable of making cool magical weapons and jewelry stunning enough to seduce a smoking hot goddess.
The most famous Freyja story regards how the goddess acquired her stunning gold necklace. For four nights, Freyja allowed four disgusting dwarves to ravish her. Freyja reasoned that four nights getting pawed by dwarves was a small price to pay for a necklace of impeccable craftsmanship that would adorn her forever.
