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Posts Tagged asatru
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Yes, this is exactly the kind of discussion that takes place in Comparative Religion programs at top universities around the world. If it’s not Thor versus Jesus, it’s Zeus versus Vishnu, or who would have won in a barroom brawl, Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada or Joseph Smith, assuming both men actually drank? Matter of fact, I’m surprised Spike hasn’t come up with a Deadliest God show to go along with the Deadliest Warrior. We’ve already seen Viking versus Samurai, Gladiator versus Apache, so why not move the action to the heavens?
Odin and Friends is back online! The site was recently hacked either by humans or robots, so Saturday morning was spent scanning Word Press tables for malicious code. But anyway, things seem to be working for the moment (get it while you can, folks), and above is Thursday’s missing toon. Commentary below:
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The difference between gods and humans is an intriguing aspect of Norse mythology. The Gods can (and shall) die, just as all of us humans will eventually pass away. Then there are those badass humans who have been “promoted” from Midgard to Asgard to fight side-by-side with the gods in the Big One. Also, most the Gods, other than being pretty fantastic “base model” entities to start off with (I’m assuming Freyja was a pretty hot teenager), seem to get the bulk of their powers from magic they have learned or some other action taken on their part — e.g. Odin gains his wisdom through a deliberate act of self-sacrifice. I’m not arguing that Norse gods and humans are the same thing (far from it!), but there are some intriguing similarities and relationships that don’t exist in other religions.
I suppose there is some inspiration to be taken from the life cycle of the Gods. Nothing comes easy in this world, not even for the Gods, and nothing lasts forever either. But in your short time, you can rise from the muck, trade your eyeball for wisdom, earn glory (and treasure) on the battlefield (real or metaphorical), acquire magical skills, seek the mead of poetry, and perhaps be rewarded with a seat at Odin’s table. And when your time comes, know that the gods are pleased with you when the fire giants rise from hell and you bravely stand your ground and accept that skull splitting axe blow between your mortal ears. Hey, if you’re looking for peaceful ending, seek Nirvana instead of Valhalla!
The end of the world is way overdue. Christianity and the Norse religion both anticipate a terrible apocalypse. Why don’t both groups work together? World serpent and flying scorpions, fire giants and many-headed beast, Fenris wolf and the creepy little kid from the Omen movies… IT WILL BE THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER.
Let me repeat that:
THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER IS COMING FOR YOU WICKED SINNER SINNER IF YOU DO NOT REPENT IN THE NAME OF JESU-THOR.
Sorry, folks — I’m a little off my rocker today. For some reason it only feels correct to write doomsday proclamations in capital letters. Try it yourself sometime and you’ll see what I mean!
Walpurgis has arrived. The time of the year when humans lift their heads from the melting muck of winter to pay respect to the gods of spring. A day of great reverence and respect for the gods. And of getting loaded.
Odin shall prove the respect of the humans with the May Day Hangover.
Happy Walpurgis, Beltane, Valborg, Vappu… Spring. Ride your horse responsibly and please don’t barf on my shoes.
A fertility god does more than just hump.
Other duties include:
– granting healthy children to parents
– producing bountiful harvests in the fields
– providing wealth and prosperity to deserving followers
But let’s face it, the humping is where the real fun is at!
Not many people realize that most Christmas traditions were adopted from pagan society. During the Saturnalia, people roamed the streets drunk and naked, singing blessings to Saturn, the fertility god. Nowadays, Christmas carolers wear six layers of clothing and badger people on their doorsteps with songs about disgusting pudding concoctions and sleigh riding. Yeah, things have gone kind of downhill over the last 2000 years.
Put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is the reason for the season.
It’s not “winter holiday” – it’s our holiday.
Down with “holiday songs,” up with “Christmas carols.”
Boycott the Gap for not advertising in the name of our Lord.
Ham for everyone.
Outlaw dradle spinning in school.
Put the kabosh on Kwanzaa.
Doesn’t it just make you want to barf?
Hail Odin!
Odin realizes that not every man was born a poet. That some of us jumble our words and can’t figure out whether the word for strange is spelled “weird,” “wierd”, or “wyrd.” That most of us don’t prance around talking to the heavens all day but only when our head is on the block.
So when you do manage to cough out a prayer, don’t make the mistake of this bold knight and just recycle the one from Conan the Barbarian. Yes, the Conan Prayer is a beautiful little piece of work, but consider this:
– The prayer was intended for Crom, not Odin.
– The prayer was uttered by the body building governor of California. I’m with you, I wish the movie was real too, but we have to be honest about such things.
– Odin is the God of Poetry not the God of Movie Quotations and Arnold Impersonations.
Am I wrong on this one? You guys tell me.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Conan Prayer (infidels!), there’s a refresher below. No, the guy below is not me, but he has obviously seen the Greatest Movie Ever Made as many times as I have:
In the Norse religion, Thor was well-loved by the people, and “held to control the winds and showers, the fair weather and fruits of the earth.” (Adam of Bremen, medieval chronicler)
And his beard was red.
