It’s that time of year again when pumpkins explode into pieces and toilet paper wafts from the trees. And now you know who to thank for this senseless mischief… Pope Loki.
Happy Halloween!
Comment
Comic
333 comics.
Viking missionaries are eager to come to your house and answer your questions about the Final Battle. Please be advised to let them in promptly and pour them a large cup of mead. If mead is unavailable, beer will do. They also like leftover chicken. Listen to what they say, nod politely, and accept some Odin and Friends religious tracts. Slam the door on their faces only if you don’t like having your door whacked down with an axe. This is important stuff – when the giant wolf comes, you need to know how to stand your ground and die gloriously.
You may already have seen this comic floating around the internet in black and white format. Welcome to the original source, fine tuned and re-posted in vibrant color!
From the Ynglinga Saga:
“… his men went without mailcoats, and were as frantic as dogs or wolves; they bit their shields and were as strong as bears or boars; they slew men but neither fire nor iron could hurt them. This is known as ‘running berserk’.”
Nothing about any condiments here, but I prefer mine with wild mustard! The only thing more dangerous than an enraged berserker is a hungry one.
Anyone who works on a house or a car knows that sometimes you need just the right tool for the job. Well, the same goes for dealing with giants, and as Thor can testify, nothing beats a good war hammer. Unfortunately, even the impressive nutbuster featured in this comic would barely reach the kneecaps of most of those odious creatures.
Most people think it’s the guy being executed who has all the worries, but what about the tireless executioners who work so hard to keep tyrants in power and maintain state control? Swinging an axe all day can chafe the hands and tire the shoulders, and that’s just the beginning. There are blood-splatter-transmitted diseases to worry about, not to mention the hazards of swinging sharp weapons in front of screaming crowds with your vision obscured behind a leather mask. It’s a thankless job, and that’s why these hard working public servants deserve the very best in medical care. Keep them happy, and if you ever find yourself on the chopping block, they’ll reward you with the smile and sharpened edge of a happy employee and not the scowl and dull blade of a disgruntled worker bee.
Along with seasickness, carpal tunnel syndrome is one of the largely underappreciated occupational hazards of being a Viking. Fortunately, taking a few simple preventive steps can keep you safe from “the ax-man’s curse”. Make sure to relax your grip, take frequent breaks, and maintain good posture when chopping and slaying.
The horrors of Jotunheim are huge not only in number, but in size. Woe to ye who underestimates the towering terrors of Giant Land, where even the cutest duckling becomes a disciple of death.
