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Comic
333 comics.
The long Asgardian winter finally gives way to spring. The great plain of Vigrid, foretold battlefield of the Ragnarok, shall soon taste the blood of another conflict. Although you and I may never know the names of those who fought there, to them the battle will be every part as significant as the final world shattering clash itself.
More about this situation on Thursday.
Not to be confused by the Tolkien title of the same name, Odin and Friends kicks off a two week (or thereabouts) mini-series plotting the revenge of the glacier lillies against the foul, fanged, impressively-eared Giant Beast of the Cloudberry Bush.
By the way, to the best of my knowledge there is no such thing as a “cloudberry bush” found anywhere on Midgard (but there are cloudberry plants found in the far northern regions) — but one can certainly imagine such things in Asgard.
More on Tuesday!
This is the time of year that you may be tempted to hike in the mountains or tan at the beach. But remember: Ull God of Winter (and hand-to-hand combat) is watching. Never let down your guard! Late season snow attacks when least expected!
Baldur is excited… finally, he and his father agree on something: the royal wedding was a supreme waste of human effort. But Odin actually found the entire affair quite interesting. Especially all that fancy pants jewelry and sneak peeks inside the castle. Soon he’s going to raid that place and make that loot his own!
Finally, a foolproof way to steer the masses back to the Christian meaning of Easter without touching a single hair on Thumper’s head…
The Jesus Peep
Part marshmallow, part communion wafer, Jesus peeps come in several lovely colors not found in nature and taste god-awful too.
FAIL!
The Easter stats are in! Church attendance is up over Christmas but colored eggs and chocolate rabbits threaten the whole shebang. Luckily militant angel Michael has a solution that will make humans think twice about spurning the holiest of holidays… global eradication of all leporids (yes, I had to look that word up). Thankfully, Jesus sees it another way.
The Thor movie is over and it’s time to fill out the comment cards. Mjolnir wants more blood! Baldur thought everyone gave a fine performance. But what’s the judgement from the man of the hour, the God of Thunder himself?
By the way folks, I haven’t seen the movie so please don’t take any of this as an actual review 🙂
Thor is surprised to learn that he has been depicted… with blond hair! Apparently he doesn’t read the comic book or he might have seen it coming. Marvel has one of those weird comic book explanations to justify 50 years of bucking Eddaic sources and other traditions which define Thor as having red hair, a red beard, and red eyes when he gets pissed (the current Thor is actually the third Thor in a cycle of constantly reborn alien Thors and the previous Thor was indeed a red head). Yeah, murk it up however you want Marvel — Thor should be a ginger. Mjolnir is surprised he wasn’t given any dialogue. Did Loki write the screenplay?
The lights dim… the movie is on! Thor is banished to New Jersey by the Odinator. Why does the All Father look so soft around the edges? He’s been “photomated,” of course. Why can’t Hollywood cough up the money for a little cartoon realism? Another bucket of popcorn, please.
