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333 comics.
The end of the world is way overdue. Christianity and the Norse religion both anticipate a terrible apocalypse. Why don’t both groups work together? World serpent and flying scorpions, fire giants and many-headed beast, Fenris wolf and the creepy little kid from the Omen movies… IT WILL BE THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER.
Let me repeat that:
THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER IS COMING FOR YOU WICKED SINNER SINNER IF YOU DO NOT REPENT IN THE NAME OF JESU-THOR.
Sorry, folks — I’m a little off my rocker today. For some reason it only feels correct to write doomsday proclamations in capital letters. Try it yourself sometime and you’ll see what I mean!
Well, Harold Camping and the Family Radio Network folks didn’t get the apocalypse they wanted, but they managed to give the mainstream, Beast-influenced, secular media something to blab about both before and after the May 21 Rapture.
Frankly, I’ve been pretty down on the world ending since Y2K turned out to be nothing but job security for computer programmers who had to fix all that calendar code (I got a little work out it, can’t complain too much). Oh, yeah — I heard a soda machine failed somewhere in Australia.
Not sure how many of Camping’s followers have turned to Odin in the wake of his failed prophesy, but there must be one or two. When it comes to the apocalypse, nothing beats the Ragnarok.
Enjoy the house while it lasts, atheist neighbors.
And then, there was one. Standing alone on the great plain of Vigrid, awash in blood. Despite losing over 500 comrades, our hero has not lost his lust for life. Unfortunately, reason will not work against a beast who lives only to eat, crap, and have unprotected sex with his siblings.
That’s it for the Odin and Friends version of the Two Towers. Tolkien it surely is not, but hopefully you’ve enjoyed this rare glimpse into the flora and fauna of Asgard. The battle that occurs there every spring when the snow melts may also be taking place in your own backyard right now.
Odin is back on Tuesday!
Back to Vigrid! The battle rages!
It’s a sad moment when you realize the most damage you can do to your enemy is to give him diarrhea after he eats you. It’s an ever sadder moment when you contemplate the saga that will be written about this accomplishment.
Let’s face it, that greased-log-and-boat theory is a little dull compared to what else is out there to explain how those giant stones got from distant locations to present day Stonehenge. Personally, I like the idea of bearded forest people casting spells to raise the stones and then ushering them through the air to their final resting places. Plus two for levitation.
The salad bar is open! Let the battle begin! For Odin!
Unfortunately, there are distinct disadvantages to being a glacier lilly on the battlefield. Lack of mobility is one of them. It’s tough to stand around and watch your kinsmen be eaten alive when you are rooted to the ground.
It may be noble to show up to a fight alone, but it increases the odds of victory to show up with 500 screaming kinsmen carrying swords, axes, and spears!
Revenge can be a generational thing. Last year one brave glacier lilly faced the Giant Beast of the Cloudberry Bush by himself. Sadly he was devoured and carried away by Valkyries to the salad bar at Valhalla. But now the seed of his stamen has risen from the ground to seek revenge! And with him, many brothers in arms.
Now if he can only keep from getting stepped on before that darn rabbit shows up we might have a fight worth watching!
