While Thor is known for slaying giants, Vidar for killing the great wolf, and Vali for his skillful aim and bravery, Odin’s youngest son Baldur has yet to make a name for himself. Considering the glorious accomplishments of his older brothers, Odin is surprised that Baldur would rather talk to birds than spill blood on the battlefield. Something must be done about this…
Odin philosophizes from his cloud seat that few things are more spiritually satisfying than battle. But Frigg needs his attention in the kitchen. After he gets that jar down from the high shelf, he’s going to open it for her too.
According to a frequently misunderstood piece of religious dogma, a religious martyr shall receive a heavenly reward of 100 sweaty vikings and a jar of mayonnaise.
The figure of Loki plays many important roles in classical Norse mythology, not the least important of which is facilitating sex jokes.
Disgusting rodents or crafty ecoterrorists? Squirrels have taken out power grids more than once, and even shut down the NASDAQ. A mighty Hail Loki goes out to these shadow tail reactionaries and ineradicable advocates of darkness (and nuts).
So what if Thor likes big women?
Like, really big women.
Women so big, they might be giants.
Women so big, they in fact are giants.
Although the Aesir might talk endless smack about their giantly neighbors in Jotunheim, when you read the Eddas, there’s scarcely a god that hasn’t snuck over the mountains to frolick in the fjord with a BBW.
See all posts on giant women.
It’s pure speculation of course… but after weeks of sailing, battling, and drinking, those Viking warriors must have smelled like rotting fish on a hot summer day. After returning from a war campaign, even the most laid back Viking housewife would insist that her husband scrub the gore from beneath his nails before touching her.
The fire giants are drunk and the frost giants are fat on dwarf meat… how is the Ragnarok ever going to get started with the giants in shambles?
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